The Sexuality Pitfall, Stabilizing Hormonal Agents and the Mind

As I had my early morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column captured my eye. A reader composed in with a dating issue and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women use sex to get love, and males use love to obtain sex." This is a excellent summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap is similar to the Love Trap, where songs analyze excellent sex as love. Those who fall into the Sex Trap go even further since for these songs, having sex brings immense significance and effects.

Songs fall into the Sex Trap in one (or both) of 2 methods:

A.they think sex is a necessary test of compatibility, (if the sex readies then the relationship will be excellent too).

B.more commonly, all consciousness goes out the window, and one or both formerly level-headed singles consider themselves a committed couple as quickly as they have sex.
So, instead of taking a look at whether this other person may be a match on levels aside from physical attraction-- such as long-term requirements, needs, and wants-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to keep in touch with truth when all those hormonal agents are running wild. Our body responds to someone we are brought in to by producing hormonal agents such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural state of mind enhancers), and testosterone ( boosts libido), makings the chance to have sex with somebody we are brought in to very hard to withstand. After orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on get more the hypothalamus to produce feelings), which makes us feel extremely close to and bonded with our sex partner.

These chemical reactions are strong and uncontrolled , leading to effective feelings of attraction, excitement, wellness, closeness, and love .

But when problems develop, those who fall under the Sex Trap often justify by believing, "Well, we've got issues, however the sex is terrific!" They probably wouldn't admit it, however they focus on physical intimacy and concern the rest as optional. Their main hunting tools are sexual attraction and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works mostly with gay males, states that much of his customers have fallen into the Sex Trap.

" For gay guys particularly in metropolitan areas, sex is readily offered, which in itself is a trap," North states. visit homepage "In addition, the culture, with its emphasis on physical look, motivates sex. Lots of gay men wish to learn from the beginning if a potential partner is going to be sexually suitable. Why waste your time if the sex isn't really going to ready?".

Nevertheless, North includes, "I think this is a ' person' thing rather than a 'gay' thing.".
I do want to explain that chemistry is very important. Yet, chemistry is a considered that we cannot control in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it must be there for the collaboration to work. If not there, we can't "make" chemistry happen, though in some cases it can grow over time.

When the hormone-induced intoxication wears off and reality hits, Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry danger relationship failure.

To prevent the Sex Trap, you should stabilize your heart (and hormones) with your head. This means combining chemistry with typical sense. While great sex is necessary for a sustainable relationship, you have to make your partner options by paying full focus on your vision, values, goals, and requirements -- while feeling all those exciting triggers!

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